Blended Families and Estate Planning: How to Prevent Accidental Disinheritance
As more adults experience divorce later in life and enter into second marriages, blended families have become increasingly common. Along with that trend comes a significant—but often overlooked—estate planning concern: the risk of accidentally disinheriting your spouse or your children. This is not a theoretical problem. Without a carefully designed and updated estate plan, Illinois law may dictate who receives your assets—and the result may be far from what you intend. Estate planning for second marriages is essential.
Why Gray Divorce and Remarriage Create Estate Planning Risks
“Gray divorce”—divorce involving couples over age 50—has risen sharply over the last 30 years. Many of these individuals remarry, often blending adult children from previous relationships. While these new family structures are loving and supportive, they also introduce legal complexity.
Most people assume that their surviving spouse will “do the right thing” or that their children will “work it out.” Unfortunately, that assumption is often wrong. Illinois intestacy laws, outdated wills, and poorly structured trusts can lead to outcomes no one wanted—such as a new spouse losing their home or children from a first marriage receiving nothing.
A Common Scenario: How Accidental Disinheritance Happens
Consider this hypothetical:
John and Marsha, both in their late 50s, divorce after a long marriage. They remain on good terms, and their two adult children continue to have strong relationships with both parents.
A few years later, John remarries. His new wife, Karen, is 62 and has two children of her own. The blended family is harmonious, and John is confident that everyone understands his wishes: to provide for Karen during her lifetime and ensure that his children eventually inherit the remainder of his estate. But estate planning for second marriages isn’t something John really wants to think about.
However, John dies suddenly. At the time of his death, his estate is valued at $5 million.
What happens next depends entirely on the structure of John’s estate plan—or lack thereof.
Scenario 1: Failing to Protect the New Spouse
John never updated his original estate plan. His will names Marsha as his primary beneficiary, with his children as backup beneficiaries if she does not survive him.
Under Illinois law, divorce automatically removes Marsha as a beneficiary, as though she had predeceased John. As a result, everything passes to his children—including the home where Karen is living.
Within a year, the children sell the property to cover expenses, and Karen is forced to leave her home with no guaranteed financial support.
How This Could Have Been Avoided
John could have:
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Created a revocable living trust to intentionally allocate assets between Karen and his children.
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Granted Karen the right to live in the marital home for life, while ensuring the home would ultimately pass to his children.
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Structured distributions to balance financial security for his spouse with inheritance protection for his children.
A revocable living trust would also have kept the details of his estate private and avoided the delays and costs of probate. Estate planning for second marriages needs to address all of these issues.
Scenario 2: Failing to Protect the Children
This time, John does update his plan after remarrying. He creates a single trust (“pot trust”) for the benefit of Karen and his children, naming Karen as sole trustee. His intention is to revise the documents later when his children are more financially mature, but he never gets around to it.
When John dies, his children are still in their early careers and dependent on the trust for education and living expenses. But Karen now controls the funds and has broad discretion over distributions. She could choose to limit or even deny distributions to the children—and the trust language would allow her to do so.
How This Could Have Been Avoided
John could have:
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Appointed a co-trustee or corporate trustee to ensure impartial administration.
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Created a separate marital trust for Karen and a family trust for his children, so that each side’s interests were protected.
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Used lifetime gifting strategies—such as funding 529 plans—to transfer wealth to his children in a controlled and tax-efficient way.
Scenario 3: Failing to Protect Against Asset Depletion
In this scenario, John establishes a marital trust for Karen with instructions that any remaining assets will pass to his children upon her death.
A few years later, Karen experiences a major health decline and requires long-term care. The costs are substantial and are paid from the trust for many years. By the time Karen passes away, almost nothing is left for John’s children.
How This Could Have Been Avoided
John could have:
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Directed that a portion of his estate pass to his children immediately at his death.
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Funded a second-to-die life insurance policy, ensuring his children would receive a guaranteed inheritance.
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Used planning strategies to limit the impact of long-term care costs on the inheritance intended for his children.
The Takeaway: Estate Plans Must Be Intentional and Reviewed Regularly
If you experience divorce, remarriage, or the blending of families, updating your estate plan is not optional—it is essential. Even well-meaning spouses and mature adult children cannot overcome the limitations of a poorly designed or outdated plan.
My Recommendations:
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Review your estate plan every three to five years—or immediately after major life events.
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Use trusts to control the timing, amount, and purpose of distributions.
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In blended families, separate trusts are often preferable to “common pot” structures.
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Make your intentions clear and communicate them openly.
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Do not rely on state intestacy laws or outdated documents to determine your legacy.
Protect Your Loved Ones with a Thoughtful Plan
If you don’t create your own plan, Illinois law will create one for you—and it may not reflect your wishes. With the right tools, such as revocable living trusts, marital trusts, and life insurance planning, you can take control of your legacy and protect every person you love.
I help individuals and families throughout Naperville and the surrounding communities create customized estate plans designed specifically for blended family dynamics.
Let’s Make Sure Your Intentions Are Honored
If you’re in a second marriage, have children from a prior relationship, or simply want to ensure your assets are distributed the way you intend, I invite you to schedule a consultation.
📞 630-848-9255
🌐 www.varaklaw.com
📍 Naperville, Illinois
Your family is unique. Your estate plan should be, too.